The Big Scooper!

I had an epiphany. There I was standing in the night pasture almost ready to go in for the morning milking when I looked up and saw it.

The Big Dipper hung right over me. The wheels in my brain started turning. It was sort of like that old farmer joke about when the farmer looked up and saw the letters G and P formed by the clouds. He assumed it was a sign from God to Go Preach. However he was a failure at preaching and asked God why he sent him to go preach. God answered him that he meant for him to Go Plow!

There is no confusion for me about the Big Dipper. I know why I took notice of it today. Lots of things get updated for modern audiences or to be more relevant for today's world. Movie franchises and television shows get rebooted, new models of items come out, etc.

Today I'd like to propose that we change the name of the Big Dipper to the Big Scooper! I believe the stars hanging over me like that was a sign that it liked us cows and hoped that when our milk is turned into ice cream it could dip it. But dip isn't really a great description anymore,is it? Scooper is much better. The Big Scooper! There's no reason that the Little Dipper couldn't also be renamed as the Little Scooper, too. 

June Dairy Month is the perfect time to open this up for discussion. Should we rename the Big Dipper to the Big Scooper? Sign the petition below! Ice cream lovers, we're counting on you!

Agent 268 reporting from the Udder Side. 

Petition by iPetitions

Khan's Revenge Ice Cream Recipe

July is National Ice Cream month and if you are sad that you have not celebrated then you are not alone, but don't let it eat you up inside like some people.

Some of us sneaked out to a pasture that overlooks the drive in and caught the new Star Trek Into Darkness film. We still like the real Khan best.

So, it got us thinking about what type of ice cream Khan would eat? Pe-Khan ice cream?

 Pe-Khan's Revenge Ice Cream Recipe

Ingredients:

• 2 Cups of Toasted Pecans
• 2 Cups of Heavy Cream
• 3 Tablespoons of Melted Butter
• 14 oz Sweetened Condensed Milk
• 1 Teaspoon of Maple Extract

Directions:

• In a large bowl whip cream. Whip it! Whip it! Whip it good!
• Mix the sweetened condensed milk, butter, maple extract and Pe-Khan's in a big bowl. Fold in whipped cream.
• Pour contents into a 2 quart container and cover it. Put in the freezer and watch Star Trek II at least three times while you wait (at least six hours).

One important note: Beware eating Pe-Khan's Revenge Ice Cream too fast or else you may endure the worst brain freeze ever that will leave you screaming.....

Agent 245, reporting from the Udder Side.

Ice Cream Bucket List Road Trip

My ice cream bucket list has already turned out to be fantastic and I have not gone very far yet. I mentioned how I was looking forward to trying out some wild, new flavors last week, but I have found some people are fanatical about their ice cream even with traditional flavors. I can't begin to describe what happened when this one fan came into the ice cream parlor!



I got to share the booth for a moment with the fanatic and found out his name was Al. He's a really swell guy and let me tell you he really loves his rocky road ice cream. Here's a photo of he and I. Too bad the photographer almost cropped me out!

Weird Al and Dairy Cow eating ice cream

Agent 235, reporting from an ice cream parlor not too far from the Udder Side.

Ice Cream Bucket List

Have you got a bucket list? You know what I'm talking about; a list of crazy things you want to do before you die. Maybe you have not written them down and only shout, "YOLO!"  whenever you do something crazy.

Me? The number on thing on my list is to travel off the farm. Put the top down, the shades on, and wind blowing through my black and white hair. Just a cow driving down the road looking for good times. I had never figured out where I wanted to go until now. Now, I've got a map and a plan.


USA Today posted a list of the best ice cream parlors in the world. See the world. Eat ice cream. Sign me up, baby! Italy, Ireland, New York, Australia, and more. Ice cream in crazy flavors with fudge, or cheese, and even sweet potato. Tantalized? Terrified? Put it on your bucket list. Don't forget you only live once. Yolo!

Agent 235, reporting from the Udder Side.

A Very Dairy Inauguration

My Inauguration Party Hat!

There will be no report today because I'm in Washington D.C.! It isn't everyday you get invited to an Inaugural Ball!        

-Shirley, former Presidential Candidate, on the Udder Side.



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Dear Shirley,

Barack and I are so pleased that you will be attending his Inauguration on Monday. I think that you and he can find common ground on many issues. Barack has one weakness that you may not have heard about; he loves ice cream. Did you know that when he was growing up in Hawaii he worked at an ice cream store scooping out delicious dairy treats for the customers? 

We're all milk lovers at the White House. I have steadfastly supported having milk as a part of a good diet. In my Let's Move campaign I have received the support of the dairy industry as I fight against obesity.

If you have not had a chance to look at the menu for the 2013 Inauguration I think when you do you will be quite pleased. We have two items specifically dedicated to dairy. We will be serving Sour Cream Ice Cream as well as Artisan cheeses. You are going to love it! Plus, Beyonce, a milk lover from way back, will be one of the performers.

Can't wait to see you and sit down and chat.

Sincerely yours,





Michelle Obama

UFO Message Decoded By Dairy Cow

Where did we come from? Why are we here? Is there life beyond the stars? These are the questions I ponder as I sit in the pasture field and chew my cud. The other cows do not believe me when I say I believe in aliens, but what do they know? I've seen them & recorded them. Some cows, and people, just need more proof!

While Agent 101 was away at some secret convention, I borrowed some of her super sensitive spy equipment and pointed it at the stars. After a long time of searching I finally came across a strange noise that I knew had to come from intelligent life. Could it be a message from beyond? What if the aliens were sending a message like in Close Encounters or  Prometheus? I saw the latter at the drive in in 3-D and somebody needs to make some bovine 3-D glasses 'cause the human ones kept sliding down my face, but that's a problem for another day.

I ran the noise through a program on our super computer using a complex algorithm to try and decode it. The computer after hours and hours of whirring and humming finally was able to translate it. With today being July 2 and World UFO Day, I can think of no better time to share this. Was my original premise about milk loving UFO's correct?  I'll let you judge for yourself.

Agent 167, reporting from the Udder Side.

June Dairy Month Marches On

Well, I must tell you that I have enjoyed being this year's Udder Side June Dairy Month Queen. I hope I've accomplished much and set the bar for those that follow me. I sincerely love sharing all the wonderful things about being a dairy cow.


Please remember that dairy is not just the milk in your glass. It is also:

• The butter on your popcorn
• The ice cream in your cone
• The yogurt in your fruit parfait
• The sour cream on your baked potato
• The buttermilk in your biscuits
• The cottage cheese with your salad
• The cheese on your pizza

Now I will rejoin the ranks of the milking herd as we march on!




Agent 233 reporting from the Udder Side.

June Dairy Month Cow Queen

 Udder Side June Dairy Month Cow Queen for 2012

I am thrilled to introduce myself as the winner of the First Annual Udder Side June Dairy Month Cow Queen Contest. Wow, it is really going to take a big plaque to fit all of that on it, right? Anyway my first decree as June Dairy Month Cow Queen is to make milk the official drink of the month! My second decree is to make ice cream the official dessert of the month! Hmmm, I could really get used to this kind of power.

Think you know everything about dairy products? Here's a few interesting and little known facts about milk that you might not know about:

• Milk tastes really really good. Maybe that one is fairly well known.
• Ancient Spartans drank milk to give themselves the power of the gods. Okay, I made that up, but chocolate milk is a great recovery drink even after a grueling day of combat.
• The recipe for ice cream probably came about in the 16th century in Italy and was possibly transported there from China by Marco Polo. No idea if ice cream has anything to do with his swimming pool game.
• Yogurt goes back to around 6000 B.C. in Central Asia and Genghis Khan lived on yogurt according to some people.  Rumour has it that Khan on Star Trek also was a yogurt fan.
• Drinking milk makes you rich, rich in nutrients that is. My milk is just chock-full of all kinds of nutrition that is hard to beat by other foods.

Now I pronounce you educated on all kinds of fun milk facts to amaze people with. My final to decree is for you to go and celebrate dairy products on this wonderful month of June. And come back for more June Dairy Month activities soon!

Agent 233, your Udder Side June Dairy Month Cow Queen.