Monday, April 29, 2013

Dairy Cows and International Dance Day

It is a well-known fact dairy cows love to dance (The most famous cow dancer was named Lily). We love to disco, ballet, foxtrot, dairy cow glide, cha cha; you name it, we do it! It probably comes as no surprise that today is one of our favorite days of the year. Didn't you know that April 29 is International Dance Day?

So get on your feet, especially if you're doing Latin dances, and shake it like a milkshake, baby! When you're done please remember to fuel up with some chocolate milk. You owe it to yourself to replenish with something that not only tastes good, but also helps your body recover fast. If chocolate milk is good enough for an Olympian like Amada Jo Weir to drink after a hard workout, isn't it good enough for you, too?

Here's our tribute to International Dance Day!

Agent 408, reporting from the Udder Side.

Friday, April 26, 2013

Dairy Cow Supports Ag Gag Bill

Don't support the Ag Gag Bill! Don't support the Ag Gag Bill! That's what some celebrities and animal rights groups are hollering, but have any of them actually read the bill? What does this alleged Ag Gag bill actually do in Tennessee?

The bill is very simple and says that if you make a photo or video of animal abuse you must give it to the law enforcement authorities, or as Dierks Bently says, the "po po," within twenty-four hours. Well, gag me with a spoon! Doesn't this sound like a common sense thing to do?

Now the folks that say they only want to protect me and other animals don't want to protect me with this bill.

Why? They don't want to turn in any evidence of abuse until they want to and therefore prolong the abuse. The animal activists want control in order to use the evidence for their own gains and not to help the animal that was in trouble. If you want to stop abuse then you tell the proper authorities immediately so they can take action. Isn't that what you are supposed to do when you see any crime? 

They call this Animal Abuse Reporting bill the "Ag Gag" bill, but it does nothing of the sort. It makes the crime not reporting evidence of abuse. If we're going to live in a law abiding society then shouldn't we obey the laws instead of acting like vigilantes?

Whether you are a cow or a person, if you live in Tennessee or not, I urge you to contact Gov. Haslam and ask him to SIGN HB 1191/SB 1248, the Animal Abuse Reporting bill.  (615) 741-2001 or e-mail

I'm just a dairy cow and my farmer is good to me and I support this bill.

Agent 228, reporting from the Udder Side.

Monday, April 22, 2013

A Real Farm Voice

Today is supposed to be a special day about #FarmVoices and how the farmers are feeding the world. Well excuse me while I eat some hay. It is of my opinion, and I value my opinion highly, that I am the one that's feeding the world one glass of milk at a time.

Sure The Farmer comes to work early in the morning with a happy, if sometimes sleepy, face on. He makes sure we get things to eat, like my tasty hay, grain, and silage. Of course, he also is out there planting the fields and harvesting his crops. I suppose he's also the one that fixes things around here like machinery when it breaks or fences when a tree falls on them. The Farmer also cares for us when we get sick and gives us special attention and medicine.

But I ask you this: can The Farmer give you milk? That's right! That's my job! So go on and be proud of young farmers everywhere today. Let this be their day of #FarmVoices, but remember the other 364 days are ours.
Be sure and toast all the farmers with a tall glass of milk! And if you see my farmer please tell him I'd like some more hay, please.

Agent 464, reporting from the Udder Side.

P.S. Happy Earth Day!

Monday, April 15, 2013

Milk Money Tax Service

cow tax

It is April 15, aka Tax Day and Agent 244 has opened the Milk Money Tax Service. She says she can get at least a $10,000 refund for every customer and guarantees it as long as you never get audited. I would remind you to always read the fine print and go with a reputable service.

If you do get a refund this year the best way to celebrate is with a tall milkshake! Heck, even if you're not getting a refund and having to pay in then some delicious ice cream is still a great way to celebrate the fact that your taxes are done.

Just remember the taxman waits for no man. Or something like that.

Agent 101, reporting from the Udder Side.

Monday, April 8, 2013

Rain and Writing

Well, last week was a wet one.

puddles mud

While it didn't rain everyday, it sure did feel like it. What is problematic is that with the cold weather and rain we have not seen much growth in grass in the pastures, or in the wheat and rye The Farmer has planted.

Wheat and rye have looked like this all winter

Yesterday's temperature has started to really turn that around. The Farmer's hoping with the warm weather predicted for this week he'll see lots of good growth in his fields. And we're hoping for the same, too! We want some fresh food, please!

But what does The Farmer do when it rains all the time? Evidently he writes. You should see him hunting and pecking at the computer! We've found some kind of rural detective story that he's been working on. Here's an excerpt labeled No Signal (First Draft):

....A spare sat safely in the trunk with no worry of me getting it out because the jack handle was currently being held as Exhibit B by the district attorney. A jack handle can be a good defensive weapon when your clip is empty, but it also makes a strong case for assault and battery. Hopefully not strong enough in this case, especially when the accuser’s rap sheet is as long as a poor kid’s letter to Santa. It takes brains and brawn to be a p.i. and so far I've had just enough of both to get by on...

Agent 101, reporting from the Udder Side.

Monday, April 1, 2013

Antibiotics Saved My Life!

There I was literally listening to Death himself knocking at my door. Not just knocking, but pounding on my door while my lungs wheezed and strained for breath. Right before the door gave way The Farmer came in like Superman and---

Maybe that was too much Hollywood style drama. Let me start over.

farm calf

There, that's more like it.

I had been feeling bad and doing my best not to show it, but The Farmer had been watching me closely. Yes, I am a little small, but I'm going to be big someday, at least I have the chance to be now anyways. Obviously, I got worse. I started coughing and wheezing like a squeaky toy. I didn't want to eat or drink anything. Not milk or water, and not hay or grain. Nothing.

That's when The Farmer gave me the shot of antibiotics. Or should I say the first shot! I watched him from my stall reading the label on the bottle of medicine and then counting on his fingers to make sure he was measuring out the right dosage. Then he gave me the shot. Lets be honest; it didn't feel good.

But the next day, wow, I was feeling better! I drank all my milk on my own and stuff. On the day after that I was even more better, I thought, but The Farmer had other plans. There he was with the needle again giving me another shot, saying something about following the directions on the label for the antibiotic, and you have to follow the label! So, I got a second shot!

Now, that was a week and a half ago and I can tell you honestly I am well! I feel good all over! No more coughing or wheezing! Thank you antibiotics! I am enjoying my milk, grain, and hay again. More milk would be nice, please!

Agent 2433, reporting from the Udder Side.