Monday, August 29, 2011

Employee Break Time

Everyone needs to take a break sometime, even secret agent cows.  It gives you a chance to pause, think, and chew on your food again.  I've found my agents always do better work when they are refreshed.  The Farmer must feel the same. Every afternoon I notice he pauses between chores to get something to drink. On hot days like these chocolate milk might be the most refreshing thing he could drink.

The tree in the photo is the hot spot, or rather the cool spot to be at on a hot day to cool off.  What's interesting about it is that even as little as five years ago you would've seen at least a few cows out there smoking on their breaks.  Ugh, I still remember when The Farmer added NicCudtine (R) supplement to the ration.  It tasted terrible but had excellent results.  The Farmer said healthy cows are productive cows and I couldn't agree more.

Agent 101, taking a break on the Udder Side.

Wednesday, August 17, 2011

Exiled off Cow Street

In retrospect, we should've checked Google Maps first or at least Fandango.  But we thought, we're Agents of C.A.L.F., we don't need any help.  And now we're exiled to the far side of the farm.  Maybe I should start at the beginning.

My Mama cow told me I should grow up and see the world, be adventurous like Agent Steina in C.A.L.F.   So, I joined up and you know what I found? Boring. Sitting around eating, watching The Farmer do his thing.   My friends and I, we're young, we want to do stuff!  The other day Agent XXX said we should sneak off and go to a drive in movie theater.  Great idea, I thought.  That was until we got lost in the neighbor's field all night long.  And then we found out they don't show movies at the drive in on Tuesday nights anyway.

When we finally got back we were in trouble with a big "T."  Agent 101 read us the riot act and had us exiled.  Now all we can do is walk around this big field, eat grass, and......and..... wait until we're back in her good graces.  Like I said, boring.

Agent XXX, reporting from the Udder Side.  (names redacted by Agent 101)

Friday, August 5, 2011

Stop the Fussing and Fighting

I'm mad and I can't take it any longer.  I'm tired of all the arguing, and I think you are too.  People have been fussing and cussing 'til they're blue in the face and not getting anywhere.  You turn on the tv, yes we've got tv here, latest in high definition technology in fact, and there they are talking about it.  They're arguing in Washington.  They're arguing in Boston and L.A.  For pete's sake, they are all arguing about what's better for you:  white or chocolate.  Milk, that is.

Now, I've heard that Jamie Oliver feller talk about counting calories and eatin' healthy.  But seriously, chocolate milk is a threat to him?  Why he probably thinks chocolate milk comes from brown cows and nonsense like that.  My milk is, well I hate to brag but I will, tasty, delicious, and nutritious.  Packed and fortified with nine, I said nine, essential nutrients.  So, honest to goodness, is a little bit of chocolate on it going to make much difference with all that goodness underneath?

Yesterday while I was testing the new wireless microphone we hid in The Farmer's cap I heard him say something very interesting.  It seems the people that bottle my milk have a new formula for chocolate milk.  It is made with natural sugars and is loooow fat.  Great tastin' for everyone and hopefully everyone can be happy with the nutritional content and stop arguing about the flavor!  Even all those crazy tv people!

Agent 216, reporting from the Udder Side.