Monday, December 31, 2012

2012 On The Udder Side

I'm glad to report that we have all survived the Mayan Apocalypse and Christmas and that the year has finally come to an end. Did all my dreams come true as the head secret agent cow on the farm? No, not this year, but that will not keep me from trying again.

The most dog-eared of our reports are as follows and they need to be retyped and reprinted if I can find a volunteer.

The Social Media Cow

As for New Year's Resolutions, I do have a few of those I hope to keep this year. I resolve to be more thorough in my reporting. I resolve to be not only the top agent, but also the top milk producing agent. And lastly, I resolve to sleep in more often and delegate more work to others. Isn't that what a good leader should do?

Agent 101, reporting from The Udder Side

Monday, December 24, 2012

Let There Be Milk On Earth

All of the cows on the farm have been getting in the Christmas spirit by watching Will Gilmer's Have a Dairy, Merry Christmas video again and again and again.

While most of the agents really enjoyed it a few have complained saying that "anything a farmer can do a cow can do better" and "those cows were lip-synching to the music." Put your milk where your mouth is, I say. I told them to make your own music video and see how well you do.

There were a couple of our young, karaoke loving heifers that decided to take me up on that offer. Keeping in the spirit of goodwill toward others and peace on earth, here's their dairy version of Let There Be Peace On Earth.

Wishing you a very Merry Christmas from the Udder Side!

-Agent 101

Monday, December 10, 2012

Late For Supper

It was a catastrophe! We had been milked and were ready for supper, but supper was not ready for us! The Farmer feeds our corn and pearl millet silage on conveyor belts and the last one had torn apart at the stitching before he could finish feeding.

Luckily, he did have spare parts available. The Farmer loosened the belt and cut out the old metal stitching.

He then crimped the new on each end of the belt and threaded the cable through them to fasten it together.

The threading must have been the hard part because we heard The Farmer having to talk the cable through each section. By talk, I mean we heard some snarling and mumbling as it must have been some kind of ornery cable to deal with.

Eventually he got it together and there was a happy stamping of hooves as we entered the feedway. We and The Farmer were both late for supper, but supper was still waiting for both of us.

Agent 268, reporting from the Udder Side.

Monday, December 3, 2012

Dairy Cows Going Green

Dairy cows are going green! Not green in color, but green in conservation.  According to the latest statistics dairy farms have reduced their carbon footprint by 63% over the last sixty years and only account for 2% of greenhouse gases. That's progress in the right direction, I say.

We cows make milk and gas. While the milk has been used for years and years and years and years, our gas is finally being captured and people and animals are reaping the benefits. Now there are all sorts of ways to use this.

While all of this sounds very interesting The Farmer has run the numbers and has not yet seen how he could implement any of these scenarios on his farm. However, he is looking into another source of green power with trees. Let's not get our hopes up anytime soon.

Agent 101, reporting from the Udder Side.