Monday, May 7, 2012

Unplugging the Social Cow

Hi, I'm Agent 451 and I'm addicted to social media. My view of the world is through my cell phone camera with Instagram colored eyes. Life has little meaning if my thoughts are not liked, retweeted, plused, or pinned. There. I said it.

I give credit or blame, depending on your point of view, of my current predicament to The Dairy Mom. You see after this report I will be banned from the use of the internet for the forseeable future by my boss, Agent 101.

It all began when Agent 101 read The Dairy Mom's blog post A Day in the Life of a Cow. Here's an excerpt that contains the line that got me in trouble.

Ever wonder what a cow does all day? She leads a pampered life spending the majority of her time resting. 

A typical cow on our farm allocates her time to these activities;
    12 ½ hours/day lying down and resting
    10 hours/day eating, drinking, chewing cud, exercising and socializing
    1 ½ hours/day in the milking parlor

Only 10 hours a day that socializing can be included in? Seriously, is that all? Do these farmers know what could happen in those other 14 hours a day that I have to know about? What about the things I need to tell others about my thoughts and my doings? Probably I wouldn't have gotten in trouble if I had not laid out from one milking. I had been up all night reading status updates and just fell asleep. I couldn't help it.

Agent 101 has checked up on all the cows and made sure they are receiving the proper care from The Farmer and getting all of their correct hours in. So far The Farmer is doing his job and I'm the only cow out of line. I would tweet about it, but you know I can't now.

While I am cut off from all my social media outlets at least I can still catch up on news the old fashioned way by going to The Hay Buffet. There's always a crowd there eating, chewing their cud, and socializing on their way to and from being milked. I hope The Dairy Mom is happy.

Agent 451, reporting from The Udder Side.


  1. Maybe your imposed social media blackout will give you more time to train! Can't wait to see you in your Olympic glory!

    1. The good news is that only Agent 451 has been banned. 162 is our daring Olympian hopeful! May she bring us glory.