Saturday, May 28, 2011

Code Word: June

I am writing this to inform all agents that we are at a HIGH threat level.  Recent intelligence has indicated that The Farmer is planning something big.  The details of whatever operation he is taking on are unreliable at this time.  We have confirmed one word of importance that he has received via phone, email, and text.  That word is "June."  We have also confirmed that code word has been in use at other farms across the country.  We believe that "June" is most likely referenced to something going on in the month of June as opposed to a person with that name. Until more intelligence is obtained the threat level will remain at high.

Agent 101, reporting from the Udder Side.

Friday, May 27, 2011

Crop Circles Debunked!

Crop circles? Crop circles?  What about calf circles!  Nothing here was made by aliens from outer space but rather calves out of fields.  Wind from a recent storm blew a tree limb on the fence and pushed it down and some of the local calves climbed on over red rover.  I saw The Farmer take barb wire and fencing tools to go fix it as he always does. Fixing and building fence is like a second full time job for him sometimes.  He and the calves made those marks in the field, not aliens.

This is more inept leadership from Agent 101.  How long are we going to let her lead us around in circles?  But don't look at me because I'm still out on night duty.

Agent 472, reporting from the Udder Side.

Saturday, May 21, 2011

(Kind of) Crop Circles?

Agent 167 was first on the scene and reported what she saw at once.  I led a specially chosen team to do a first hand investigation and I can definitively state that all of our observations indicated that these crop symbols are not of this world.

I have read about crop circles that are man made and those reported to be made by aliens.  What do they mean?  Why did they come here?  What is the message and who is it for?  These questions we will do our best to answer.  Agent 167 has come to her own conclusion that their may be life out there but it isn't intelligent.

Agent 101, reporting from the Udder Side.

Tuesday, May 3, 2011

Almost a Bed of Roses

There's no way to describe this other than a blatant abuse of powers.  I want everything in this world to look nice and I certainly believe that cleanliness is next to bovineness, but this was too much.  Agent 101 bought bags of flower seed to plant in our night pasture field.  When everyone else is thinking about debt reduction and how to spend money wisely she wasted our budget on flowers for us to lay down on when we sleep.

Now I've been on missions at several different farm locations.  I have slept on soft mattresses, sandy areas that reminded me of the beach, and even comfy cozy water beds.  Cow comfort has come a long way.  Personally, I do enjoy sleeping outside on pasture.  I like quiet walks underneath the stars, holding hooves in the moonlight.....

Agent 411, reporting from the Udder Side.