Where Real Milk Comes From

Maybe we have been watching too much television lately, but we've seen some commercials that are too much to be believed. It has often been said that imitation is the sincerest form of flattery, but it really makes us cows pause and think.

Can you squeeze real milk from a bean?

Soybeans

I don't think so.

Can you crush real milk out of a nut?

Almonds

Not hardly.

Can you boil real milk out of rice?

Rice

You've got to be kidding me!

Who Wants Fake Milk?

It boggles my little secret agent bovine mind that folks dislike me and my milk so much that they try to come up with an alternative to it and they still call it milk! If you don't like my milk then why not call it something else, like soy juice. 

Now little Johnny is thirsty and in trouble with his mom for using the "c" word, but there's no wondering about why he was utterly disgusted by her offer. People try to teach their kids to be themselves, to like themselves for who they are, and then they ask everyone to pretend that these juices and squeezin's are real milk.

Where Real Milk Comes From

Let me show you where real milk comes from. Real milk comes from real cows. Accept no substitutes!

Agent 101, reporting from the Udder Side.






Photo credits:
soybeans by ateoto
almonds by Sanjay Acharya (Own work) [GFDL or CC-BY-SA-3.0], via Wikimedia Commons
rice by  Biswarup Ganguly (Own work) [GFDL or CC-BY-3.0], via Wikimedia Commons

Are There Hidden Costs in Milk?

Webmaster Agent 477 was recently emailed a link to The Hidden Costs Of Milk. She watched it with puzzlement and dismay. While she thought some of the information was good, other parts she disagreed with.  So Agent 427 took it upon herself to remix the video with a few extra facts thrown in for good measure.



Obviously, the grade was waaay too low. Milk should've been given an A-. The minus reminds us that we should be humble. Like Mary Poppins, milk is practically perfect in every way!

After watching her remix I realized it was lacking in direction. The video should not be the hidden costs of milk, but rather the hidden value of milk! Milk is nature's most perfect food! That is the right direction. I have commissioned her to create a new video to represent this and hopefully she'll finish soon.

Agent 101, reporting from the Udder Side.


Original Video Created by: insurancequotes.org

Let There Be Milk On Earth

All of the cows on the farm have been getting in the Christmas spirit by watching Will Gilmer's Have a Dairy, Merry Christmas video again and again and again.



While most of the agents really enjoyed it a few have complained saying that "anything a farmer can do a cow can do better" and "those cows were lip-synching to the music." Put your milk where your mouth is, I say. I told them to make your own music video and see how well you do.

There were a couple of our young, karaoke loving heifers that decided to take me up on that offer. Keeping in the spirit of goodwill toward others and peace on earth, here's their dairy version of Let There Be Peace On Earth.




Wishing you a very Merry Christmas from the Udder Side!

-Agent 101

Shirley and Norma For President!

A well-balanced meal includes fruits, veggies, grain, protein, and dairy as suggested by USDA's Choose My Plate. If elected I plan to use a similar approach and surround myself with great advisers so we can improve the health of our country.

I think you should lead by example. My first example of how I will do this is by choosing Norma as my running mate. Surround yourself by the best and you will be the best! Let's make America productive again!

Moo 101

A fool and his money are soon parted is a great way to sum up everything that happened, but let me start at the beginning...

I was in my stall this morning thinking it was about time for The Farmer to come and feed me. Sure enough he entered the calf barn same time as usual. Instead of singing bits of songs off-key or mumbling to himself, this morning he started talking gibberish to me. Are you ready for this? He was "mooing." Uh-huh, exactly.

I finally did some asking around and found out what had happened. The Farmer bought a new book:

June Dairy Month Marches On

Well, I must tell you that I have enjoyed being this year's Udder Side June Dairy Month Queen. I hope I've accomplished much and set the bar for those that follow me. I sincerely love sharing all the wonderful things about being a dairy cow.


Please remember that dairy is not just the milk in your glass. It is also:

• The butter on your popcorn
• The ice cream in your cone
• The yogurt in your fruit parfait
• The sour cream on your baked potato
• The buttermilk in your biscuits
• The cottage cheese with your salad
• The cheese on your pizza

Now I will rejoin the ranks of the milking herd as we march on!




Agent 233 reporting from the Udder Side.