I was in my stall this morning thinking it was about time for The Farmer to come and feed me. Sure enough he entered the calf barn same time as usual. Instead of singing bits of songs off-key or mumbling to himself, this morning he started talking gibberish to me. Are you ready for this? He was "mooing." Uh-huh, exactly.
I finally did some asking around and found out what had happened. The Farmer bought a new book:
See what I mean about a fool and his money? Like this book was ever going to work. He doesn't need Dairy Dave's help. I can easily tell The Farmer everything he needs to know to make me happy without him having to say even one word (or moo!).
- I like warm milk in a bucket to drink twice every day.
- Sweet grain with corn in it will make me grow strong and healthy!
- Keep the cold water coming! I get thirsty!
- Fresh straw bedding for my stall
- Nothing tastes better than leafy, green hay!
- I could use one of those window air conditioners
- Just a small lcd tv would be nice hanging on the back wall
- And I've never tried donuts....
Here's how The Farmer normally feeds me. And that really is warm water coming out of the hose!
Agent 2458, reporting from the calf barn on the Udder Side.