Where did we come from? Why are we here? Is there life beyond the stars? These are the questions I ponder as I sit in the pasture field and chew my cud. The other cows do not believe me when I say I believe in aliens, but what do they know? I've seen them & recorded them. Some cows, and people, just need more proof!
While Agent 101 was away at some secret convention, I borrowed some of her super sensitive spy equipment and pointed it at the stars. After a long time of searching I finally came across a strange noise that I knew had to come from intelligent life. Could it be a message from beyond? What if the aliens were sending a message like in Close Encounters or Prometheus? I saw the latter at the drive in in 3-D and somebody needs to make some bovine 3-D glasses 'cause the human ones kept sliding down my face, but that's a problem for another day.
I ran the noise through a program on our super computer using a complex algorithm to try and decode it. The computer after hours and hours of whirring and humming finally was able to translate it. With today being July 2 and World UFO Day, I can think of no better time to share this. Was my original premise about milk loving UFO's correct? I'll let you judge for yourself.
Agent 167, reporting from the Udder Side.