Wednesday, November 3, 2010

The Naked Truth

Today began as a normal day.  I came in from the field, ate some hay, and was milked.  Then, I was sorted away from the main group of cows by The Farmer.  My bovine mind was racing!  Was he on to us?  Did he realize we walked among them and were reporting back?  I was motioned into a comfortable wooden chute for questioning, I assumed.  

Out of the blue, I was stuck with a tiny syringe.  My first thoughts were of poisons, or perhaps a truth serum to make me talk and expose the rest of C.A.L.F.  Name, rank, and serial number.  Name, rank, and serial number was all he was going to get.  Then I stretched my tongue and prepared to knock the cap off my fake tooth that held a suicide pill for times like these. 

And from the corner of my eye, I noticed something.  The solution I was injected with was not poison, or even a truth serum.  It was an animal vaccine.  I was being protected from infectious bovine rhinotracheitis, bovine viral diarrhea, bovine respiratory diseases, and many more.  The Farmer had been fooled, and was treating me as he did all his other animals.  I was quickly turned out of the chute and feasted on corn silage.

Agent 207, reporting from the Udder Side.  

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