Milk Money Tax Service

It is April 15, aka Tax Day and Agent 244 has opened the Milk Money Tax Service. She says she can get at least a $10,000 refund for every customer and guarantees it as long as you never get audited. I would remind you to always read the fine print and go with a reputable service.

If you do get a refund this year the best way to celebrate is with a tall milkshake! Heck, even if you're not getting a refund and having to pay in then some delicious ice cream is still a great way to celebrate the fact that your taxes are done.

Just remember the taxman waits for no man. Or something like that.



Agent 101, reporting from the Udder Side.

Rain and Writing

Well, last week was a wet one.

While it didn't rain everyday, it sure did feel like it. What is problematic is that with the cold weather and rain we have not seen much growth in grass in the pastures, or in the wheat and rye The Farmer has planted.

Wheat and rye have looked like this all winter

Yesterday's temperature has started to really turn that around. The Farmer's hoping with the warm weather predicted for this week he'll see lots of good growth in his fields. And we're hoping for the same, too! We want some fresh food, please!

But what does The Farmer do when it rains all the time? Evidently he writes. You should see him hunting and pecking at the computer! We've found some kind of rural detective story that he's been working on. Here's an excerpt labeled No Signal (First Draft):

....A spare sat safely in the trunk with no worry of me getting it out because the jack handle was currently being held as Exhibit B by the district attorney. A jack handle can be a good defensive weapon when your clip is empty, but it also makes a strong case for assault and battery. Hopefully not strong enough in this case, especially when the accuser’s rap sheet is as long as a poor kid’s letter to Santa. It takes brains and brawn to be a p.i. and so far I've had just enough of both to get by on...

Agent 101, reporting from the Udder Side.

Antibiotics Saved My Life!

There I was literally listening to Death himself knocking at my door. Not just knocking, but pounding on my door while my lungs wheezed and strained for breath. Right before the door gave way The Farmer came in like Superman and---

Maybe that was too much Hollywood style drama. Let me start over.

There, that's more like it.

I had been feeling bad and doing my best not to show it, but The Farmer had been watching me closely. Yes, I am a little small, but I'm going to be big someday, at least I have the chance to be now anyways. Obviously, I got worse. I started coughing and wheezing like a squeaky toy. I didn't want to eat or drink anything. Not milk or water, and not hay or grain. Nothing.

That's when The Farmer gave me the shot of antibiotics. Or should I say the first shot! I watched him from my stall reading the label on the bottle of medicine and then counting on his fingers to make sure he was measuring out the right dosage. Then he gave me the shot. Lets be honest; it didn't feel good.

But the next day, wow, I was feeling better! I drank all my milk on my own and stuff. On the day after that I was even more better, I thought, but The Farmer had other plans. There he was with the needle again giving me another shot, saying something about following the directions on the label for the antibiotic, and you have to follow the label! So, I got a second shot!

Now, that was a week and a half ago and I can tell you honestly I am well! I feel good all over! No more coughing or wheezing! Thank you antibiotics! I am enjoying my milk, grain, and hay again. More milk would be nice, please!

Agent 2433, reporting from the Udder Side.