Be Mine: A Bovine Valentine

Several of the agents have noticed The Farmer has really been off his game lately. He just seemed a little out of step, but we couldn't figure out why. Then yesterday he had a moment of epiphany, or as we would say a "holy cow!" moment. That was when we saw him look at the farm calendar and exclaim, "Tuesday is Valentine's Day?"

It didn't take a trained bovine secret agent to figure out that he had probably not gotten his wife anything for the most romantic holiday of the year. Doghouse for sure if he doesn't get it together soon. Unfortunately for him we are not able to give him any help on this one. However, if we were, these are some of the Valentine's Day surprises we would suggest.

• Heart shaped hay bales. Need I say more.
• Chocolate covered anything. My recommendation would be chocolate covered corn kernals. Yum!
• Bling for the eartags. I would love something shiny to showoff and I'm sure his wife would, too.
• A nice hoof trim or, perhaps, a pedicure in this case. 
• Compose a poem: 

Though the mountains may fall

And the flowers may wilt

We will always be together

Like chocolate and milk.

• Take her to the cozy coffee shop downtown and drink iced milk lattes while holding hooves (hands, whatever) at a table for two in the corner.
• Show her the love and attention she deserves. When a cow is shown this she will be happy, content, and productive. If The Farmer treats her as he does us then I am sure everything will be okay.

Agent 101, reporting from the Udder Side.