Monday, November 14, 2011

New Agent on the Farm

Before his alarm clock rings I am waiting.  When The Farmer's truck pulls into the night pasture to bring the cows in for the morning milking I am waiting.  The moon is to my back as his headlights strike me.  I go in with the other cows, but I am watching.

I am a new agent on this farm and I take my job seriously.  Parties, dancing, and the theater are not on my mind.  I believe in discipline so much I had the word tattooed on myself.  Okay, maybe I chickened out after the "D" hurt so bad and didn't get the "iscipline," but the meaning is still there.

I intend to watch The Farmer and report every thing he has done. Anything and everything will go in my report.  I will get photos, fingerprints, boot prints in fake poo, and a dna sample before the day is through.  I will know everything about him as well as I know my own black and white hair patterns. I graduated my class moo-a cum laude and I make no mistakes.

While The Farmer milked and fed the cows and calves I was always lurking behind the corner of the barn just outside of his peripheral vision.  Interesting find of the day was when Agent 465's new calf failed to nurse on her own, The Farmer stepped in and helped the calf get started.

I will be watching and waiting.

Agent 230, reporting from the Udder Side.


  1. these stories you tell are off the chain, I cant tell you how much they make me laugh. I work on a dairy farm here in Danielsville, GA, and I sure can relate to there stories. You write that you have secret agents , I would have to say most of our girls and old gangsters who have been reincarnated back as cows. Anyway thank you and please keep writing

  2. you should adopt (change the words a little) it would go: secret agent cow, secret agent cow they ve given me a number... well its funny as a theme song

  3. Glad you're enjoying them! I might use that gangster idea sometime, too!