Cows In Black

My name is Special Agent C. I came to this farm to investigate reports of crop circles and UFOs. I have not been able to find any alien activity of any kind. I did find some agents of C.A.L.F. and some other normal cows producing normal milk. I observed The Farmer working and taking care of his animals, too.

While I was here I decided to ask The Farmer a few questions:

• Does your milk contain antibiotics? He said that sometimes he did have to treat sick animals with antibiotics when they didn't respond to other treatment, but that he was not allowed to sell any milk that contained antibiotics.
• Does your milk contain hormones? He replied that most foods do have naturally occurring hormones in them, including milk. He said that while an approved man made version of a hormone that a cow makes on her own can be given to help produce more milk that he did not use it and that most milk is now sold as "rbst free" for consumer preference.
• Are your cows treated well? Healthy cows make lots of milk was his answer and that was his goal. He also said his farm had gone through some kind of gold standard review to make sure it met criteria on cow care as well as on environmental concerns.

Then The Farmer had a few questions for me, like what's a black sunglasses wearing cow doing on his farm and how was it able to talk? I adjusted my sunglasses, held up my neuralyzer wand and said, "Look into this light and I'll answer all your questions."

Special Agent C, Cow in Black

Special Agent C, reporting from the Udder Side.

Milk Loving UFO Spotted Over Dairy Farm?

I had been staring at the sky looking for chem trails when I heard it coming. I quickly pulled out my video camera, but it was already passing me by and I was only able to catch a glimpse. What was it I recorded? I think it was obviously a U.F.O.

Now I have been wrong before about things like this. The whole crop circles thing comes to mind very quickly. But this is different. Aliens from outer space are hovering over the farm watching us for one purpose, I believe, to claim their own milk supply.

Now why would extraterrestrials want cows for their own? The awesomeness of milk must be known throughout the galaxy for them to have come. And I'm not just talking about chocolate milk, either. I don't like to brag, but we cows produce a super food to say the least. Our milk can build healthy bones, boost the immune system, lower blood pressure, reduce the risk of diabetes and some cancers, help with weight management, and is a great source of protein.  Why would they be coming for anything else?

I'm volunteering right now to start the first herd of cows to produce milk for an alien civilization. Beam me up!

Agent 167, reporting from the Udder Side.