Friday, May 16, 2014

Save The World From Soyzilla!!

The world hangs in the balance. You can save it by drinking your milk.

For thousands of years man has enjoyed drinking milk from a cow. It wasn't until the late 20th century that a crazy scientist believed they could improve upon nature's most perfect food. After accidentally squishing some soybeans, one scientist, in an obvious drunken haze, declared the soy juice to be "soy milk."

The soy milk had neither the taste, texture, quality, or nutrition of real milk. The mad scientist was determined to make it work. He investigated all types of ways to make the soy milk even half as good as real milk and failed at every attempt. In a dream he envisioned using DNA from a lizard and splicing it to the soybean in order to make it more nutritious. He found that the only way to do this effectively was to bathe the bean in radiation. Nuclear radiation!

But things went wrong. Things went terribly wrong.

The bean sprouted an egg. The egg hatched. And out from that egg came...

Soyzilla!!!! While others may fear a beast like Godzilla from the movies, Soyzilla is much, much worse!

Today a determined group of dairy cows have left on a mission to stop the monster before it is too late! Help them save the world by purchasing real milk and real dairy products. Your love of dairy will be the support they need to do the impossible.

Agent 101, reporting from the Udder Side.

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