What this makes me think about first is border security. Why is the United States dealing with this cold arctic air? Because the terrible border control we have with Canada!
Obviously this is escaped weather from Canada and now we know who to blame!
There are some that will tell you how to survive this cold weather like these 15 tips from Janice Person. But I say we should not try to simply survive the cold, I say we beat this cold and it back where it came from!
The Buffet Plan
The Buffet plan begins in part of the Southest South. I propose that at nine o'clock Eastern Time (because EST is God's time, and don't let anyone tell you otherwise) that everyone, and I mean everyone, point their speakers North and begin playing Jimmy Buffet music.
Beginning in Florida and moving up into Georgia, Alabama, Mississippi, and Tennessee everyone can continue blasting the warm beach sounds and we can use the power of these sound waves to push the cold back up into the arctic where it belongs.
This is going to take teamwork and it will be a very coordinated effort in order to make it work. I suggest you make a pot of the hot chocolate with milk that The Farmer posted yesterday and crank up the music!
Agent 287, reporting from the Udder Side.