I Heart Mom

Mother's Day is almost upon us and I hope no one forgets about who brought us here. The Farmer, luckily, did not forget. I saw him bringing flowers for both his own mom and for his kids to give to his wife. I found something I know my momma cow will like. I got her the new T. Zweber farmance (farmer romance) novel, How Green Was My Tractor. It is about how a farmer's love for his tractor nearly costs him his farm, his marriage, and his life. She loves that kind of mushy, melodramatic stuff.

Momma is just a regular cow and lives on a farm in Kentucky. She's always bragging about the family that runs it and how the man there really cares for his cows and takes special care for the expecting mothers. Momma even sent me this video to explain.



 Agent  2256, reporting from the Udder Side.

Unplugging the Social Cow

Hi, I'm Agent 451 and I'm addicted to social media. My view of the world is through my cell phone camera with Instagram colored eyes. Life has little meaning if my thoughts are not liked, retweeted, plused, or pinned. There. I said it.

I give credit or blame, depending on your point of view, of my current predicament to The Dairy Mom. You see after this report I will be banned from the use of the internet for the forseeable future by my boss, Agent 101.

It all began when Agent 101 read The Dairy Mom's blog post A Day in the Life of a Cow. Here's an excerpt that contains the line that got me in trouble.

Ever wonder what a cow does all day? She leads a pampered life spending the majority of her time resting. 

A typical cow on our farm allocates her time to these activities;
    12 ½ hours/day lying down and resting
    10 hours/day eating, drinking, chewing cud, exercising and socializing
    1 ½ hours/day in the milking parlor


Only 10 hours a day that socializing can be included in? Seriously, is that all? Do these farmers know what could happen in those other 14 hours a day that I have to know about? What about the things I need to tell others about my thoughts and my doings? Probably I wouldn't have gotten in trouble if I had not laid out from one milking. I had been up all night reading status updates and just fell asleep. I couldn't help it.


Agent 101 has checked up on all the cows and made sure they are receiving the proper care from The Farmer and getting all of their correct hours in. So far The Farmer is doing his job and I'm the only cow out of line. I would tweet about it, but you know I can't now.


While I am cut off from all my social media outlets at least I can still catch up on news the old fashioned way by going to The Hay Buffet. There's always a crowd there eating, chewing their cud, and socializing on their way to and from being milked. I hope The Dairy Mom is happy.

Agent 451, reporting from The Udder Side.

Moonin' Over Cinco de Mayo

Super Moon is still not that super close

Let me first reiterate news for those agents that did not read my weekly newsletter: we are experiencing a Super Moon. While the moon is closer to the Earth it is not close enough to jump. I repeat it is not close enough to jump! I felt the need to remind you of this because I didn't want anyone to get carried away during Cinco de Mayo celebrations.

Speaking of the 5th of May, we seem to have a small party problem. The sour cream and cheese were so delicious in our Southwest Pepperjack Chicken Quesadillas for the party that I ate it all while sampling it it has all disappeared. I need two volunteers to either raid The Farmer's Wife's kitchen or run to town for to pick up some more ingredients. We want our party to be a success!

Agent 101, reporting from the Udder Side.