Where Real Milk Comes From

Maybe we have been watching too much television lately, but we've seen some commercials that are too much to be believed. It has often been said that imitation is the sincerest form of flattery, but it really makes us cows pause and think.

Can you squeeze real milk from a bean?

Soybeans

I don't think so.

Can you crush real milk out of a nut?

Almonds

Not hardly.

Can you boil real milk out of rice?

Rice

You've got to be kidding me!

Who Wants Fake Milk?

It boggles my little secret agent bovine mind that folks dislike me and my milk so much that they try to come up with an alternative to it and they still call it milk! If you don't like my milk then why not call it something else, like soy juice. 

Now little Johnny is thirsty and in trouble with his mom for using the "c" word, but there's no wondering about why he was utterly disgusted by her offer. People try to teach their kids to be themselves, to like themselves for who they are, and then they ask everyone to pretend that these juices and squeezin's are real milk.

Where Real Milk Comes From

Let me show you where real milk comes from. Real milk comes from real cows. Accept no substitutes!

Agent 101, reporting from the Udder Side.






Photo credits:
soybeans by ateoto
almonds by Sanjay Acharya (Own work) [GFDL or CC-BY-SA-3.0], via Wikimedia Commons
rice by  Biswarup Ganguly (Own work) [GFDL or CC-BY-3.0], via Wikimedia Commons

Dairy Farmers Actually Promote Dairy Products

US Government: ‘Eat More Pizza!’ | NotionsCapital http://t.co/XeMl6WoLMI
— Mark Bittman (@bittman) February 17, 2014

So while we were wasting time between milkings reading the internet we came across this Mark Bittman tweet. Mark, Mark, Mark, Mark,Mark, Mark. (Wink, wink!) We know what you were doing. You were tweeting this sarcastically to point out how false this story is.

Notions Capital is reporting that The USDA is promoting eating pizza. Nope nope nope. While we're only cows maybe we can elaborate on what they probably meant to say. 

Dairy farmers sell milk that they get from us. They sell it to processors who then sell it as fluid milk or any number of delicious dairy products. The farmers decided they would like to all join in and promote our wholesome product. Thus they started the dairy check off. 

How do you collect all this money safely and securely? They decided to form DMI to do it.

But wait who is in charge of this money?

Who spends the money?

Whose money is it?

Ding, ding, ding. If you answered the farmers then you guessed correctly.

The farmers have state dairy boards and then select some of those farmer board members to be on a regional board. Then they select some of those farmer members to be on the national board. What that means is that dairy farmers are the one's hiring people to promote, research, and defend our naturally good product. And they're doing it with their own money.

Let's talk about pizza. There are three major parts. The crust, the tomato sauce, and what was the other one? Cheese! And cheese is made out of.......that's right, our milk. So dairy farmers helped pizza folks figure out how to put the best tasty cheese on pizzas.

But there's more than just pizza. Dairy farmers use check off dollars to, as the Southeast United Dairy Industry Association (they're one of those regional dairy boards that dairy farmers are on) says, to

....work(s) with schools, health professionals, farmers and the public to provide them with nutritional information, research and recipes for a healthy lifestyle that includes three servings of milk, cheese or yogurt each day.

Agent 101, spreading the truth like warm butter, on the Udder Side.

The Dairy Cows' Interactive Valentine's Day Gift Guide For Guys

Dear Guys,

Lets face it. You have no clue what to get that wonderful woman in your life that you can't believe hasn't dumped you yet. You're afraid that whatever you get her will ruin your relationship. Have no fear! We're cows, and for those of you not in the know, that means we're girls, and we have put together a short Interactive Valentine's Day Gift Guide to help you select the right gift. Choose your answers to the questions very carefully. Make your mistakes here and not with her! Make it a Valentine's Day to Remember!




Agent 247, reporting from the Udder Side.

Ask A Farmer

Sometimes it is hard to figure out what the truth is when you get hit with "facts" from every direction. With the topic of agriculture it is no different. You've got the tv and the internet telling you things and your neighbor down the street telling you things and you are constantly being bombarded by advertisements that exaggerate and lie.

Could this be you?



Normally I'd tell you to only trust the cows, but not even us cows know everything. Obviously we can tell you many things about dairy farming as we report on The Farmer, but truth be told we don't know much about chickens, or cucumbers, or corn (except that we love to eat it!)

So how do you find a farmer to talk to on the internet? I suggest you check out The Follow Farmer list where you can look up farmers by state or by the type of agriculture you are interested in learning about.

When you want the truth you should go to the source. So I say, why not ask a farmer?

Agent 101, reporting from the Udder Side.