Thursday, December 30, 2010

Finally Decoded


One word could describe the weather on this operation lately, and that would be cold.  The Farmer has been working extra hard to do the smallest things.  We have noticed he needs his kerosene heater as much as his tractor these days.

Agent 214 has been hard at work on the codes we have been tracking.  She has discovered that they originate from one source, Bovines United Legion Can Rule All People.  This is the organization behind all of this group of messages.  They are a strange collection of cows who put way too much thought into the "four legs good and two legs bad" philosophy.

We have been anxious to see what the messages mean.  Are they veiled threats against C.A.L.F.?  Are they gathering intelligence of something that is to come?  Could the messages be sent to other agents with embedded orders?

Agent 214 motions me over the the laptop in her stall.  It is cramped with both of us in there, but I can see the message on the screen and I'm not sure how it will affect our current mission.  She's very excited to have completed her first assignment out of school. The decoded message translates to "Eat mor chikin."

Agent 101 reporting from the Udder Side.

Sunday, December 19, 2010

What's the Score?


We had been monitoring the messages for a while.  We monitor television and radio broadcasts, newspapers and magazines, as well as online content.  These messages had begun coming more frequently.  They were short, to the point, and undecipherable to the common observer.  But we saw them, yes, we did, whether they were meant for us, or not.

Agent 214, fresh out of studies, took the lead on the investigations.  She is highly trained in languages and mathematics.  Seeing higher numbers, imaginary numbers, and patterns are her forte.  She examined the data carefully.

Unfortunately, before her work could be completed, we were interrupted by a visitor from to the farm.  A man from a cow breed association had come to look at some cows.  This group of cows were all daughters of a certain bull and the breed association wanted to give each animal a score and report it along with scores from other daughters.  This would enable them to know how well the bull transmitted certain traits and production abilities to his daughters.

Agent 471 was elated after her scoring.  "I have great feet and legs!  I have great feet and legs!" she kept mooing over and over.  It was no way for an agent to behave.  And it ruined the day's operations as everyone else, agents or not, came over to see what the fuss was about.  Agent 214, was becoming befuddled and couldn't work with all the excitement.   Tomorrow, she promised, she'll have the messages decoded.

Agent 101, reporting from the Udder Side.

Wednesday, December 8, 2010

Preparing For The Cold


With cold weather coming we are making lots of preparations.  One of the hardest times to do undercover work is when the temperature is well below freezing.  Technical problems and just trying to stay warm are impediments to doing your job right.  We are adding heating pads around our computers to keep them running.  We have also made sure we have battery back ups available just in case the power was to fail.  

This kind of weather always reminds me of my first mission in the frigid Northeast.  I was a springing heifer and we were still using wired communicators.  My ear piece had frozen to my ear and I was unable to remove it before The Farmer came around.  The wire hung precariously in the air as he approached.  I quickly stuck my head in the hay manger and began munching.  He was fooled, and I never made the mistake again.

The Farmer has also been getting ready for the cold.  We have seen him making sure the heaters are turned on for the water tanks to prevent them from freezing.  The Farmer also made sure he had hay readily available to feed for the next few days.  He has been seen running drop cords to the tractors to plug up the heaters to enable them to start on cold mornings.  

Agent 65, reporting from the Udder Side.